This is my final day to do whatever I want to. Gosh! Dang it! Ding ding ding ding... School's tomorrow. I am so not ready. I don't think that I will ever be ready for school. Sheesh!
I still want to be an Architect or an Interior Designer or a Fashion Designer. I still want to study in a university. But, I think that GOD has already given me the sign that I am so destined to become a nurse. I don't know. I could have failed last sem but by God's grace, He didn't let me. Or, I didn't want to be a failure. I don't want to be a failure that's why, I sort of studied. Well, I couldn't say for a fact that being a Nurse is what I am destined to be. If I had the power to change that, oh, I would. I definitely would. But for now, I'll just go wherever my mistakes, and my decisions take me.
Sometimes, I get tired of accepting the way things are. Sometimes, I get tired of attributing everything as God's divine plan for me. Its hard to feel helpless. You think you're strong enough to handle the problems, but then there's something bigger out there that is way too powerful, you just give up everything and let HIM make things happen.
Do I make sense?
Anyway, I had a good cry last night. A very good cry. I cried about a lot of things. I cried because I still don't want to go to school (which is not a good reason to cry, really). I cried because I felt stupid, irresponsible, stupid, ugly, supid, cruel, mean. The way I felt is comparable to what a trash might feel when she's been thrown out. I feel like a used candle. After shining brightly, giving light to those in need - after being someone of use, I already lost the light I had. My wax has finally melted, the wick has burned up. I am no candle anymore. I burned into nothingness.
I am so evil at times, I don't even recognize myself.
To other things.
Here is a copy of my grades. My GPA is 1.70. I am so not proud of my Anatomy grades. I know I could've done better with Anatomy. But then again...
PE103 (Swimming) - 1.50
CS101 (Computer) - 1.25
SOCIO102 (Socio and Anthropology) - 1.50
HAP111 (Anatomy) - 2.75
HC101 (Health Care) - 1.25
Sayang hindi na ako DL may discount pa naman sa tuition fee.
And here is my new schedule.
Mondays and Thursdays
1130 - 100 MicrobioLec
200 - 400 MicrobioLab
430 - 700 Physics and Trigo
Tuesdays
800 - 1000 PE (Team Sports)
Wednesdays and Saturdays
900 - 1030 SHE100 ( I have no idea what this is)
1030 - 1200 LIT102 (Philippine Literature! argh!)
130 - 300 HC102Lec
300 - 600 HC102RLE
That schedule pretty sucks! It really sucks! Pweh! Can't my life get any better? I wonder what lies ahead. Somebody help!
By the way, I am planning to change my mode of transportation for this sem. You see, when I was in my first year I had to allot one hour and 30 minutes for my transpo time when riding an FX bound to Cubao. Traffic is horrible in España and Quiapo. Sheesh! But this past sem, I am guilty of spending a lot of money because I wake up late and because of that I need to take a cab which can bring me to school at half the time but 5 times the transpo fee (equal to 100 bucks!). So, what I am going to try is to use the LRT.
First, I'll ride the LRT 1 (the yellow line I think) and go down at Doroteo Jose. That would take me around 10 - 15 minutes and 15 pesos? (I'm not yet sure) And, I'll walk from the LRT 1 Station to the LRT 2 Station., This will take me about 10 minutes because the walkway is so long. This will be a good exercise for me. From there, I'll ride the LRT 2 Station and go down at Cubao. Ride a jeepney to E. Rodriguez. Voila! My estimated transpo time: 35 - 45 minutes. Extimated transpo fee: around 50 pesos
Jeez! I am tired of writing about it. Do you think that this is a good idea? I don't know. I may have to rely on the good ol' cabs!