I am pissed because I haven't seen any episode of The Amazing Race 10. Oh, well. I am more excited about the Asia version of The Amazing Race. Not because Aubrey Miles is there but because I think Allan Wu is so gorgeous. Haha... And, because another Filipino team is there.

It is technically sem break but, my sem break doesn't start until I finish the grand case presentation revision. I hope to finish it by tomorrow. I have a lot of things that I want to do this break. I want to have a lot of sleep and rest. I need it badly. I terribly need it. Argh...

I want to learn tennis. I want to learn how to play the guitar...

This is my best take on bisaya...

LORD, daghang salamat kaayo kay na-pass ko gid ang aku-ang mga concepts sa nursing. Salamat gyud...

I really meant what I said. But, I sound blah...

Hehe...

Thanks and praise be to GOD talaga. Akala ko talaga ay mag-reremovals ako. Salamat talaga.

Naranasan niyo na ba yung panahon... yung panahon na talagang nasasaktan ka na... yung panahon na talagang damang-dama mo na sobra-sobra na lahat yung problema mo... yung panahon na gustung-gusto mo ng ma-iyak... pero, hindi ka maiyak?

Pinipilit mo yung sarili mo na maiyak. Umaarte ka. Nag-fifeeling ka na artista at pinipilit mong lumuha. May tumulo nga pero peke naman. Hindi siya tunay na mga luha. Yun yung mga iyak na hininog sa pilit. Yun yung mga iyak na hindi ka maka-konek.

Ang hirap kapag hindi ka maka-iyak. Mahirap talaga. Lalo na kapag ganyan at parang sasabog na yung puso mo sa samu't-saring lebel ng emosyon. Galit. Inis. Pagkabigo. Sakit. Pagkamuhi. Pagka-pagod. Pagsasawa. Basta! Yung mga masasakit na emosyon. Yung mga nakakaiyak dapat.

Ang dami kong nararamdaman ngayon. Madami talaga. Iba-iba. Sari-sari. Different, sa ingles. Di ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula.

Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako maka-iyak. Bwisit!

Milenyo is a good for nothing typhoon. Without power, how am I supposed to finish the things that I should be doing? And, you've caused a lot of damaged homes, fallen trees, broken dreams. Ang daming casualties. Pweh!

So, ngayon, mag-ccram na naman ako dahil ngayon lang kami nagka-ilaw. Hay naku!

Kaasar!

Hay...

Case Presentations are a pain in the ass. Although I really find them interesting and although I enjoy making them, it really does get to me sometimes. I sometimes find myself staring at the monitor blankly because the pressure is just too much. But, I really learn a lot from making this sort of stuff. I just hope I had more books which I could use. Unfortunately, my books are limited. Library is an option but - nah! Never mind.

How can something that you really enjoy doing be such a pain in the butt? You love what you're doing yet, you find yourself staring blankly at something and realize that this is just too much. There are a lot of things that you could do but, you end up following what you like and even though its causing you so much pain, you just do it... Stupid!

I have drank my first San Mig Light last night. I wasn't forced, really. Not that forced. Okay. I felt forced but, I gave in. So, the guilt is all on me. Too much drinking is bad. I only had several sips. And, I am a responsible drinker. Didn't like the taste of the beer. Nasty! For me, ha. I still like Margaritas.

I have slurry speech today... Could this be a hang-over? Whatev.

I am really guilty. I told my mom about it. She said she trusted me and that I know what is right from wrong. Hmm...

Hay... What is happening?

Bought 2 CDs yesterday - the APO Cd, and the One Tree Hill Vol. 1 OST. I love the One Tree Hill CD. My fave song is Track 13 - The First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow. I love the song. Should I say, can relate ako. Hehe. Whatev.

---

What is it? I am naive. I am in quiet desperation. I am concealed. Yet, transparent. Hmm... When the stars go blue... Where do I go when I am lonely?

The tears that I can't cry out are the most painful tears.

Its been quite a while. Its been hard. Its making me crazy. You are making me crazy. I can't sleep. I wake up thinking of you. Damn it! You inspire me. I want to be better. I am in pain. I don't know. This is bullsh*t! I hate this. I so want to give this up. But, I won't. I can't. My head's turning. So fast. My thoughts are this and you. And you and this. This makes me feel sick. I want to be better. But, its as if I'm crumbling. I am crumbling. I am crumbling and I hate myself for letting you make me crumble. Like cookies. This thing, it can't stop moving. This sensation and feeling is so overwhelming. Crying myself to sleep is not working. Studying makes it even worse. Ring the alarm! Code Red. Code Black. You have got to call a code. I am confused. Confused. In circles. Everything. I am in circles. My thoughts are running around. I want to be better but I am crumbling. Argh... I feel crappy. I am very much in crap...

I am so tired.I'm tired and I haven't even done half of what I'm supposed to do. Argh... Can this get any worse?

There are a lot of over due projects. A lot of case presentations. A lot fo things to do. I don't hink that even if I am awake for the whole week, I will be able to do anything. Argh...

I need to finish everything...

Hay!

And, I might flunk OR, Labor and Fluids. BUt, GOD willing, that will not happen...

Hay.... May duty pa ngayon.... I hope we get dismissed early...

Alrighty... I better get back to work...

And, by the way, I have two new crushes... The first one is Zeus Balasico (?) and the other is ahem... secret... Hehe...

Hay....

I love Sex and the City. I love all its episodes... Got to see Seasons 1 - 3 already. I will finish it on the next 2 weeks. Four more seasons. Then, I'm off to watching Friends/Scrubs.

I hope Grey's Anatomy, LOST, Dr. House will all be shown in studio 23 starting this month with their new episodes.

Hay... excited to see Dr. Presto Burke.

DISCLAIMER: If you are part of batch Insignis, don't read this if you are too narrow-minded. This is a very subjective view of all the things that happened. And, besides, this is a diary - although published - it is still personal.

This was such an exhilirating day! Whew! Loved it!

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate batch MAGIS for winning the Talents Unlimited by a landslide. Hinakot niyo ang lahat ng awards! Galing! Proud to be a part of batch Magis. Second, I also would like to congratulate batch CENTENNIALES for being the over-all champions for this SNA Days. You guys deserved it. Umm... I could be a biatch and ignore the other batch, but see, I am not like that. So, to the sophomores, congratulations too. Talaga namang pinakita niyo sa amin na you are very much willing to work hard for everything. Ipinakita niyo sa amin ang inyong determination. Congrats!!!

If you still remember, mga around this season, ay naganap din ang SNA Days. At, that time super naasar kami sa batch Centenniales dahil ipinagmayabang nila yung Blue and White uniform nila. Sad to say, I have to admit kaming batch Magis ay nagyabang din. Gusto ko sanang gumamit ng mga defense mechanism at sabihin na ginawa lang namin yun dahil medyo nabastusan kami sa mga Insignis at nag-retaliate lang kami, pero I won't. I know that what we did was wrong. So, sorry for that. We shouldn't have done it. It was such in bad taste. But, nevertheless, nagawa na yun at ika nga, the damage has been done. Although we can't take it back, we apologize. I apologize.

Magis and Centenniales are tight. We are friends. We played several games but we didn't fight over it. We played fair. We did it for camaraderie and friendship building.

Hmm... I have a lot of ideas, thoughts, etc. I don't know where to start. Halos isang week din yung dapat na-ikwento ko.

Simula sa umpisa.

Hmm...

Opening of SNA Days
The opening, as usual, starts with the parade of the batches. First up, batch Insignis (Remarkable yata yung meaning, I'm not sure). Their batch color is purple. I love the color. Cute din yung mga jersey ng volleyball players nila. Tapos, yung batch name nila ay naka-print sa shirts nila as an ambigram. Asteg nga, eh. Syempre pa, sakop nila yung buong center bleachers dail ang laki ng population nila, eh. Tapos, may churva pa sila na cardboard na may purple stuff on it, tapos instead of pompoms or balloons, yun ang ginamit nila para sa pag-cheer. Cute but corny kasi super rehearsed yung dating nila. Hindi na spontaneous. Pero, syempre ang effort dun ay di mo naman makaka-ila. Gwapo ang escort. Di ko nakita yung muse.

Second, batch Magis. Pink power! Pangit yung uniform ng mga cheerdancers kasi yung pagka-pink nun ay Stabilo Boss kind of pink. Shocking kung shocking. Pweh. Pangit yung color. Pero, di pangit ang mga taong nag-susuot. Special shout out to my bestieh Choi and Mia, Jay-ar, Belle, Arman, Mara. Galing niyo guys!!! Proud to be your friend and bestieh!!! Syempre, dahil walang pondo ang batch namin na kuntento na kami sa pink na flaglets, mangilan-ngilan na pink balloons at mga sariling gawang banner. Yun na. Yun lang. Wala kaming 1.2 million na pondo. Mahirap. Hehe... Pretty ang muse namin. Si Janice. Hehe. Cutie naman ang escort namin. Si numero singko - Robbie.

Third, batch Centenniales. Ang walang kamatayang blue na batch color. Hay. Medyo sosyalin kasi may mga balloons sila na madami. Hehe... Daming cute sa kanila. Hehe... :-) Kakakilig. Grabe!!! Hmm... The best costume na nakita ko sa lahat ng SNA Days for cheering. Asteg ang costume. Simple pero maganda. Pretty din yung muse nila. Astigin kasi player pa sa volleyball. Manuel yata yung last name. Galeng!!!

Cheering Competition
We sucked. Pangit yung sa Magis. Paano ba naman? Eh, di magkatugma-tugma yung mga sched ng mga cheerdancers. Tapos, yung lech*ng instructor na bayad ng 1000 per session ay di umaattend. Paano kaya yun? Hay... Kung siguro mga 3 practice days pa, kinaya namin sila. Pero, kahit gunun, go Choi, Mia, Belle, Jay-ar, Arman!!! Pretty pa rin.

Second placer ang Insignis. For me, common ang steps. Hindi masyadong complicated. Pero, maayos compared sa amin. Balita nga namin sa may Libis daw sila nag-ppractice. Correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know where the hell Libis is. I don't go out kasi. Meron bang pwedeng pag-praktisan dun? What-ev. Corny yung concept nila sa umpisa. Parang pang-sabayang pagbigkas lang. The costumes could have been better. Pero, I still love the color purple.

First place, Centenniales. Hands down. Maayos. MAy dating. May hatak. May energy. Although, I still believe that Invictus' cheering was still better. Maganda ang concept. Tsaka naghanda din. Napapanood nga namin silang mag-practice pag-gabi. Kasi diba, night shift ako ngayon. Hay... Congrats.

Seniors love Juniors. Juniors love Seniors. Centenniales and Magis SOLID. Hay...

Insignis vs. Magis (Men's Basketball)
Close fight. But Magis prevailed. Super intense ang mga cheerers ng both teams.

Insignis vs. Magis (Men's Volleyball)
Wah na. Dito na chumurva ang lahat. Dito na nag-umpisang mam-boo ang Insignis. Bastusan. PAlitan ng mga hurt ful words. Syempre, it takes two to tango. Kaya we can't blame Insignis for everything. Dapat, hindi na namin pinatulan ang mga ganoong bagay. Ang immature tuloy naming tingnan. Nagsusulat kami sa board. Kampihan ang Centenniales at Magis. Solid kami. Pero, syempre, outnumbered pa rin kami. But, we didn't let that bother us kasi naman walang iwanan sa ere. Cheer nila kami. Cheer din namin sila. Hay....

Siya nga pala, may silent war pa yata sila na chinuchurva. Pagkatapos ng isang game, nag-suot sila ng red ribbons. I was like. What the hell? So, childish. What war? Bakit kami ng Centenniales friends. Argh...

Insignis vs. Centenniales (Men's Volleyball)
Championship ito. Panalo ang Insignis. Clap. Clap. Clap. Panalo. Woohoo. Congrats. Magaling naman kasi sila talaga especially Yancy. Super galing niya. Lupet pumalo ng bola. Pero, in fairness sa Centenniales, nasasalo naman nila ang mga spike ni Yancy. I like Yancy. Galing niya eh. Gusto ko siyang dukutin at isama sa batch namin. Hehe...

Hay...

Galing talaga...

Men's Volleyball Champion

1. Insignis
2. Centenniales
3. Magis

Women's Volleyball Champion

1. Centenniales
2. Magis
3. Insignis

Men's Basketball Champion

1. Centenniales
2. Magis
3. Insignis

Women's BAsketball Champion

1. Centenniales
2. Insignis
3. Magis

Cheering

1. Centenniales
2. Insignis
3. Magis
   

----
Talents Unlimited
Solo Champs:

1. Magis
2. Centenniales
3. Insignis

Duet Champs:

1. Magis
2. Insignis
3. Centenniales

Dance Champs:

1. Magis
2. Insignis
3. Centenniales

Gaya-gaya:

1. Magis
2. Insignis
3. Centenniales

Hay....

Gaya-gaya... Ang lupet ng Insignis. May props. Pinagka-gastusan talaga nila. Super prepared sila. Yung ginaya nila is from the MTV Music Awards yata. It was supposed to be Christina Aguilera yata. When I saw their props, I thought it was the end. Kasi bongga yung props pero syempre, nas performance din talaga.

Sino ba sa amin? Eh di ang Pussycat Dolls. Choi, Jay-ar, Vice, and other gays from our batch strut their stuff sa stage. Ang baon lang ay energy at talent. Galeng. Super enjoyable talaga sila. Asteg talaga. Galing nila prumoject. Go Choi!!! Go Jay-ar!!! (My crush kaya lang bading) Go Vice!!! (My crush kaya lang bading din. Mas maganda pa sa akin.) Hehe... Love em....

Hay... Ang dami ko ngayong mga crush... From batch Centenniales ay si basketball guy na si Reyes. From Insignis, yung guy na kumanta sa duet. Hay... Isipin ko muna yung iba..

Thank GOD for this gift. Thank you for you compassion and mercy. You really see the truth but wait. Praise GOD. We lift up this victory to YOU. YOURS is the GLORY, oh Lord. :)

Just finished eating my lunch.

After this entry, I'll sleep once again.

Hay. I'm so tired from last night's duty. We are now assigned in East Avenue Medical Center. Last night, we had the chance of working in the Trauma section of ER. The Trauma section is where all the good stuff goes. You know, the very gruesome and the very bloody part of ER. Toxic kagabi! There were a lot of cases last night. Most of the cases were from stab wounds and gunshot wounds. Trust me when I say that it was such a bloody night. Of course, it was Sunday night. Alam mo na, ang mga tanggero ay nagkagulo. Ayun, nagsasaksakan. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

I was so excited with this rotation because I want to feel that adrenaline rush when a lot of things are happening. Eustress. I want to feel eustress. I want to be always on call. Do a lot of things. And, do these things right. I want to feel the drama of ER. I want it to be like Grey's Anatomy. I want it fast. Dramatic.

But, unfortunately (debatable statement), I was stuck with one patient. He got stabbed on his lower left thorax. Fortunately for him, the stab wound didn't hit any major organs. The x-ray and ultrasound came back negative. I was stuck with him the whole time - comforting him, explaining to him that his relatives were still looking for money to buy his meds, staying beside him while being super frustrated with the fact that my colleagues were assisting the doctors with suturing large cuts in the head and doing CPR to a dying person. I was miserable. Just standing there, talking to him. Doing nothing hmm... significant.

I want action. I want it fast. I want drama. I want to handle a patient that I could talk to then, suddenly goes to cardiac arrest and be the one to resuscitate him, then, he'd live. Argh... I guess that drama queen should just rely on House's and Grey's medical drama. Argh...

But, when I think about it. I did gain something from that experience. I do believe that out of all of us, I was the only one who really made a patient feel better. I was the only one who stayed with a patient long enough (very LONG, actually), that because of my company he really felt better that someone was there who will not leave his side.

Now I know why nurses work. It is the simple thank yous from their patients that keeps them going. It was nice to hear, "Salamat. Di mo ako iniwan."

Two months. Jeez. Two months of school work. Hindi na maubusan. Kahit three day-vacation kami ngayon, parang kulang pa rin. Strike parang. Talagang kulang. Ang daming mga requirements tapos, finals pa ng mga concepts. Jeez. Super daming dapat gawin. Ang dami ko pang hindi nagagawa. Hay... Tapos, nawawala ko pa yung notebook ko ng to-do list. Ay, naku!

Grrr....

Buti na lang at may magandang palabas. Super adik na adik talaga ako sa Grey's Anatomy at Lost. Sana ay magsimula na ang Season 3. Siya nga pala napanood ko na yung final season ng Alias. Wah!!! Super naiyak ako.

(Spoiler ahead!) Rambaldi's churva is true after all. May existent na serum or whatev it is na nagbibigay ng never-ending life. Of course, Sloane got hold of it (He never changed!). Pero, the APO team of the CIA won't let him have it kasi naman, ano na lang kaya ang gagawin niya. Eh, may confrontation scene dun. Si Sloane, Vaugh, Sydney and Jack ay nandun sa parang cave kung saan nandun yung remains (?) ni Rambaldi. Vaughn and Jack were held captive by Sloane's guards pero, Sydney has the thingy that Sloane needs. So, mag-e-Xdeal dapat. Pero, bigla ba naman binaril ni Sloane si Jack. Shet! Grabe talaga yun. Right after that, Sydney shot Sloane, as well. As in baril kung baril. So, nalaglag si Sloane sa parang water-filled na churva. Ang dramatic na part ay yung last conversation ni Sydney at ni Jack.

Shet! Naiyak talaga ako dun. Super. Iyak. Waah!!! Super love ko yung relationship nilang dalawang mag-ama. Wah! Ang intense nung pag-uusap nila. Ang galing ng acting. Hands down. Dapat na nominate sina Jennifer Garner and Victor Garber para sa Best Actress and Actor category sa Emmy's. Hay! Damn Ben Affleck for getting Jennifer Garner pregnant. If it weren't for him, I believe that Alias would have reached at least 2 more seasons.

I was satisfied with the ending. Ang galing talaga nito ni J.J. Abrams!

Hay....

May bago akong pinapanood na series. House. Dr. House is the weirdest yet, smartest doctor in medical TV shows that I have seen although, McDreamy and Dr. Preston Burke of Grey's Anatomy are super gwapo and smart as well. Asteg! Maganda ang House kasi talagang parang mystery talaga yung pag-treat sa bawat case ng mga pasyente. Tsaka weird talaga siHouse. Well, combination ng smart, weird, apathetic. Hay! Hmm... Focused sa medical conditions talaga ang House so super exciting and interesting itong show na 'to. At, super ganda ng hospital nila dito! Asteg! Daig ang Seattle Grace Hospital ng Grey's.

BTW, hindi naman pala ganun ka ganda ang St. Luke's. Magand lang. Pero, na-hype lang. Pero, tingnan na lang natin yung bagong SLMC sa may The Fort. Mukhang hotel. Hmm...

Hay....

Grabe!!!

Ang dami ko pang gagawin!!!

Okay... Ano nga ba ang mga dapat kong gawin?

1. Finsh Case Pres Drug Study
2. Charge batteries of DigiCam
3. Hanapin ang to-do list notebook
4. Gawa ng 3 NCPs at Journal Reaction para sa duty homeowrk
5. Gawa ng pwedeng maibigay sa VGH-Pedia Ward
6. Gawa ng reviewer para sa Labor & Delivery
7. Gawa ng report for HDM
8. Gawa ng reviewer for HDM
9. Magbasa sa OR Nursing
10. Gawa ng list ng mga textbooks
11. Bili ng textbooks
12. Many more...

Hay tulong!!!!

Gusto ko na talagang maging doctor.

It was one of those days where everythings just seemed so right and yet there are some things that were wrong but nevertheless, you enjoyed the day.

The past three days were one of the most fulfilling, and nerve wracking days of my life. We had our duty in Valenzuela General Hospital. And, boy! Sumabak kaagad kami sa aksyon! Asteg. We were assigned in the DR (Delivery Room) - a place where life is supposed to be brought in to this world.

Naka-witness na kaming na several deliveries. At, sawang sawa na ako sa itsura ng vagina. Pero, kahit sawang sawa na ako, na-aamaze ako sa female reproductive system, kasi ngayon pa lang talaga nag-sink sa akin na super powerful ng muscles natin at super powerful ng uterus. At, superpowerful din ng mothers dahil super sakit talagang manganak. Makikita mo talaga sa facial expressions nil na super nasasaktan na sila. Super! Saludo ako sa mothers!

Ang galing talaga ni LORD!

Tapos, doon ko din na-realize na talagang maraming tao ang hindi pa enlightened kasi pinapalaglag nila yung anak nila. Yung isang case dun ay uminom ng Cytotec kaya nalaglag yung anak. Induced abortion. Grabe! Naaawa ako.

Ang dami kong natutunan, first day pa lang. Madami pa ang mapupuntahan namin. Kaya mas madami pa akong matututunan! Asteg! Galing talaga. Tapos nakapag-IM injection na ako. Tsaka, nakapag-IV push na din ako. Nakapag-assist na ako sa isang minor surgery. Nakakangalay. Nakapag-catheterization na din ako.

Pero, nothing beats the experience of witnessing an actual delivery. Grabe! Alam mo yung super overwhelmed talaga ako. Yung tipong ang galing talaga ni LORD. Imagine talagang super HE thought of everything. Galing!!!

Ipag-pray niyo na ma-kumpleto ko yung mga PRC sheets ko para konti na lang yung gagawin ko for fourth year. Sana ay madaming manganak next week sa duty namin!!!

I only have 2 more days left until their so-called vacation (--not!) ends.

First, happy birthday to my friend Rocel! Happy 18th birthday Rocel. Actually, kahapon yung birthday niya at nag-celebrate kami sa house niya. Ang saya! Dahil may mini-reunion kami nina Beth and Iris. Haay... Nakaka-miss!

We miss you Beth and Iris!!! Especially ang aking buddy na si Beth. Wah! Nalulungkot na naman ako. Kita na lang tayo ulit.

Hay. Ang dami ko palang taong na-mimiss.

Second, ang dami kong dapat bayaran! Well, buti na lang at nabayaran ko na yung ibang dapat bayaran. Bali mga 1 grand na lang ang kulang. Pero, may mga dapat pang bilhin for the tacklebox tapos, books na super mahal at super dami. Hay....

Third, pagod na pagod na ako sa kaka-practice ng kanta para sa pinning and capping. Paulit-ulit na lang. Kaya bukas ay aabsent ako may excuse na naman ako. Sabi kasi ng aking EENT doctor ay hindi dapat ako salita ng salita dahil inflamed ang aking temporo-mandibular joint. Kaya muffled yung hearing ko sa right ear tsaka painful siya.

Fourth, gusto kong muling basahin ang Anatomy, Pharmacology, and Funda books ko kasi mag-dduty na kami sa mga hospital. Totoong tao na ang makakasalamuha namin. Hindi na lang puro dummy... I want to be ready. I want to be the best nurse that I could possibly be. And, if I do good, I will proceed to medicine. :) Hay wish ko lang.

Fifth, alam niyo ba na pumupunta ako sa mga websites ng universities na may medicine -- Harvard, Cambridge, Yale, Princeton, Stanford (ambisyosa!). Ayun. Ang daming requirements... I doubt that I could get in the universities. Siguro, sa St. Luke's MedSchool na lang ako. :)

Sixth, gusto ko na talagang maging doctor. Kung hindi neuro surgeon, gusto ko sa cardio ako. Hay...

Hay buhay... I hope that everything will be okay.

Please pray for my grandmother who is currently in the ICU. And Dx ay pneumonia. hay... I love you lola beer!

1. There has been an unfortunate accident that just happened 2 minutes ago. Yaya fell because I took the computer chair away from her where she was suppose to sit. It was an accident but I feel horrible because yaya was really hurt. And, although I said my sorry I think its not enough. Waah! This is just horrible. She hates me again.
2. There isn't going to be any vacation for me. This sucks!
3. I love watching Grey's Anatomy. If you haven't seen this show, well, you better grab a copy of the first season. Great!
4. I think, I want to be a doctor.

Random Thoughts....

I'm very happy that Taylor Hicks won over Katharine McPhee. I love his song, Do I Make You Proud.

Clay Aiken was sooo cute on the season finale of AI.

I am currently listening to Carrie Underwood's CD. I'm on the 5th track. I'm loving her CD.

I bought pirated DVDs for tomorrow's happening. Can't wait to see Beth!!!

Ang mahal ng tuition fee namin!

Do you have souveneir suggestions para sa pinning and capping namin? We're thinking of a tumbler. You know, the Starbuck's tumbler. I think its cute and useful.

Ahem... Praise GOD that I passed Pharmacology!

I think Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter's name is not so cute. Suri. Hmm... I think Sayuri is better. Hehe... Pang-geisha.

BJ and Tyler of The Amazing Race won! Woohoo! In your face Joseph and Monica. Beh!!!

...Don't Forget to Remember Me...

I still haven't settled this matter, yet. Did Brad cheat on Jen for Angelina? I like Jen and Angelina. Argh... That Brad Pitt...

And, I wish that Britney finds a better man for her. Kevin is so not worth it.

Wah!!! Mag-bblue and white uniform na kami! YEhey! Praise GOD! To GOD be the glory!!!

American Idol
I can't believe it. CHRIS DAUGHTRY is out from the competition. That, Katherine should have been out way before Paris. Argh... Si Elliott na lang yung natitira sa mga bets ko. Hey! Yung mga taong pwedeng mag-vote, paki-vote naman si Elliott tsaka si Taylor. Tanggalin na si Katherine Mc Phee. Ah shet! Final Two: Taylor Hicks and Elliott Yamin!!!

Amazing Race
Last week, na-depress ako dahil napaka-bitc*y nina Joseph and Monica at last place sina BJ and Tyler. Pero, masaya na ulit ako dahil ayon sa recaps na nabasa ko ay naka-bounce back sina BJ & tyler at 1st place na sila! Yehey! Sana sila ang manalo.

Survivor: Panama Exile Island
Ang stupid ni Shane. At least, from the time na nakapanood ako ng Survivor ay wala naman siyang super foul na ginawa.

Sana matanggal na si Aras kasi kahit na I find him cute siya ang pinaka-matinding competitor next to Terry. Sana ang dalawang survivors na matira ay si Terry at yung blonde girl. Kasi gusto kong manalo si Terry.

Si Cirie ay magaling. Hehe! Pero, ayaw ko siyang manalo. Please lang.

i just need to let this out.

i am super duper frustrated with myself. i haven't changed a bit. i am still the same unfocused student, who wouldn't care that much about studying. argh... i mean, i shouldn't be ranting kasi i am not studying naman ng sobra. yung study ko kasi is equal to browsing, or wasting my time making reviewers i don't review. yun ang studying ko. sheesh! grabe! kailangan ko ng matagpuan ang aking this is it moment at mag-aral ng mabuti.

ang dami dami kong iniisip. kung tutuusin mas mahirap pa itong summer kaysa sa mga past semesters. and to think na 9 units lang 'to. hirap na hirap ako kahit hindi nag-aaral. naiinggit tuloy ako kay paulo kasi siya nakikita ko na nag-aaral siya. tapos si arman nag-aaral din. alam mo yun? oarang ako lang ang hindi nag-aaral. argh!!!

the good news is its never too late. i still have 3 weeks to make it all better. kanina sabi nina arrell na hini na daw kami makaka-abot ng 1.75 sa card. siguro mga 2.00 na lang daw ang pwedeng highest grade namin. pero, alam ko through hardwork and by GOD's grace ay kakayanin kong abutin ang 1.75 na yan.

in one of oprah's shows, i learned that when you have a dream and you want to make it happen, you should make a plan and write it down. they said that dreams and plans written down are most likely to come true. that's why, i am writing downmy plan.

for this summer, this is my plan:

Goal: A 1.75 in all of my subjects this Summer
How will I achieve this? (Sub-Goals):
Starting tomorrow, all of my quizzes in all of my three subjects: Pharma, Nutri, Funda will never fail. A failing grade is unacceptable. A passing grade is fine but not advised. A perfect score is my ultimate goal.

I will review everyday and give equal weight and urgency for all three subjects. If it couldn't be helped, I will focus on the subject needing more attention. (Duh!)

When I take down notes, I'll make sure that I will review them. Reviewers are meant to be reviewed. So, I will review.

Avoid TV distractions. My only companion is music. Five days without TV is better than my whole life full of tv and me being unemployed.

Focus, Discipline, Love for learning. For GOD's greater glory.


I KNOW I COULD DO THIS!!!

Jesus Take the Wheel
Carrie Underwood

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Goin' home to see her Mama & her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

[Chorus:]
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

[Chorus:]
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus, take the wheel___
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me Oh, why, oh



You and Me
Life House

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and
I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words,
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of
You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

The past week was hell. Quizzes everyday. Failing miserably - everyday. Well, passing some. But, mostly failing. Will I ever pass Nursing?

Anyway, I am trying to adjust from this chaotic sem. I'm not well adjusted, I don't think I ever will. But, hey. A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do. Study. Study. Study. How I wish that after 6 grueling weeks of studying, I will be able to go to Amanpulo and rest. Hay... Mga panaginip ko.

I have 3 new crushes. In case you're watching Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition, nakita niyo na siguro sila. Ang mga crush ko ay sina Mikee, Gerald, and Aldred. Syempre, ang major crush ko ay si Mikee. Siya yung smart guy from Ateneo tsaka major crush ko din si Aldred yung guy na marunong magluto. Hay!!!

MIkee reminds me of someone.... Someone na... Ah, basta someone!

No vacation for me.

Hay... I'm too busy about a lot of school stuff. I need to enroll this Wednesday. I am still waiting for my tuition fee from my mom. I have a lot of books to buy. Alphabetically arranged na ang mga students so, most probably lahat ng mga M ang last name ay kasama ko. Pero, according to my friend Arman, from Mar - Quis yung mga kaklase ko. Which also means na kasama ko si Arman kasi Noob siya, eh.

I am sort of happy about the section thingy kasi medyo marami-rami akong kakilala sa section ko. And, I am happy about that. But, if I really think about it, that's the time when everything just sinks in. Wala na si Beth.

Waah! Ang drama ko! Pero, talaga. Mami-miss ko si Beth! Miss ko na nga si Beth, eh! Grabe! Alam mo yun? Waah! Nakakalungkot.

Beth, Aeda, Charm, and I has always been patners. Pero, syempre... Umalis si Aeda sa Canada. Tapos si Charm, naunang umalis sa bagong school. And then, Beth and I na lang ang natira. Super close kami ni Beth pero, mas nag-grow yung friendship namin ng umalis sina Aeda and Charm. As in! Last last sem. Partners kami ni Beth. Sa HEalth Care. Partner ko sa Bed Bath, Oral Care, Vital Signs, Parenteral Medications. Alam mo yun! Super intimate na nga namin, eh. Hehe. Super transparent kami. Tapos, talagang lahat kinukwento niya sa akin. Tapos, ako naman talagang lahat kinukwento ko sa kanya. As in! Mami-miss ko talaga si Beth. As in! Super! Yung mga Jollibee and McDo moments namin kapag wala na sina Rocel. Yung mga food trip sessions namin na kung anu-ano lang ang binibili namin - Kikiam, Siomai, Ice Cream, Cheese sticks. Waah! Super mami-miss ko talaga lahat yun.

Siguro, akala ni Beth na madali lang tanggapin yung thought na pumasa ako. Pero, sa totoo lang hindi. Kahit na masaya ako dahil na-bless ako at pumasa ako, malungkot pa rin kasi wala na siya dun. Yung tipong, gusto kong maging masaya kaya lang it will be happier if I could share it with Beth. Hay! Mag-aadjust kaming pareho. Hay! Pero, one thing's for sure - friends pa rin kami.

At tuloy pa rin ang aming PaLuWagAN!

Hehe...

I pray that we may find GOD's purpose for all of this...